The Frenemy..

Every now and then, we come across that person who acts like our friend but has the true intentions of an enemy.  Sometimes we are lucky enough to shake them off but sometimes they are not so easy to get rid of.  The frenemy is that person who wants to hang out and act like your friend but talks about you behind your back the minute you turn around.  She is jealous, childish and a true hater.  Sadly there are plenty of frenemies out there.  People who act like friends but truly can't stand eachother.  Unfortunately, I have dealt with many frenemies.  One thing that I have learned is the frenemy never changes so don't believe she ever will.  With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Here are some steps for dealing with a frenemy:

Step 1: Recognize the Warning Signs
There are several red flags that will come up when you have a frenemy.  One red flag is that she talks badly about her other friends.  She likes to gossip.  She tells about the personal information of other people.  She has stabbed you in the back, apologizes, repeats the process.  She makes you feel bad about your self or puts you down (even if its in a discrete catty way).  If your "friend" fits this deccription in any way, she could be a FRENEMY!

Step 2: Keep the Frenemy Status in Mind
Now that you know this person is a frenemy, proceed with caution.  Do not get too close.  If you hang out, keep conversation about things that she could not use against you in the future because she will if she has the chance.

Step 3: Know the Frenemy's interest is only in herself/himself.

Frenemies usually only do things that will benifit themself.  They will use you or anyone else around them to get what they want.  If the frenemy is acting like they are doing something for you, there is probably something in it for the frenemy.

Step 4: Keep the Frenemy at a Safe Distance

Do not get into situations that the frenemy can do something to hurt you.  It is probably a good idea to keep the frenemy away from your other friends and family because the frenemy will try to talk about you to them or tell them things you might have said about them (even if you didn't mean to say it in a bad way).  Frenemies twist words around to cause drama and entertain themselves.  Frenemies may even try to steal your friends and family while turning them against you.

Step 5: Be Honest With the Frenemy

If a frenemy is saying things that are offensive or that you know might get you in a bad situation, speak up.  Tell the frenemy when he or she gets out of line.  The more you speak up, the less the frenemy can take advantage of you or get his or her way.

Step 6: Don't Make Any New Frenemies!
You may have realized you have a frenemy that you are stuck with or just can't shake.  Although you might feel obligated to being this person's friend or just can't get rid of them, don't associate yourself with others like this.  Know the warning signs and steer clear of these evil individuals!  Frenemies ruin lives and relationships.  Try to get rid of them from your life.  If you can't do that completely than don't make new frenemies!

I hope this is helpful.  I'd love to get feedback on your thoughts/exeriences!  I wish I knew how to deal with my frenemies sooner but we can only move on and be smarter in the future.  Good luck!

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" -Niccolo Machiavelli

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